Like Kicking a Virus
by Amalgam000
Summary: Prentiss might not have seen her life flash before her eyes, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t in shock, and what Hotch found even more disturbing was that no one else had seemed to notice. Missing scene for episode 5x18 "The Fight" spoiler warning!


Like Kicking a Virus by Amalgam000

Author's notes: A very short "missing scene" tag for episode 5x18 The Fight, so big SPOILERS for that episode. Set between the roof scene and the small celebration at the end of the episode.

Summary: Prentiss might not have seen her life flash before her eyes, but that didn't mean she wasn't in shock, and what Hotch found even more disturbing was that no one else had seemed to notice. Hotch/Prentiss friendship/UST

Rated K (for everyone)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, this is for entertainment only, no infringement intended… yada yada yada

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Like Kicking a Virus

Hotch spent the drive back to Cooper's headquarters behind the wheel of their SUV, negotiating late night traffic and half listening to Morgan and Lasalle debating the pros and cons of living in San Francisco. Apparently Morgan's conclusion was that there were in fact no cons, except for the tiny detail that the city was sitting right on top of San Andreas Fault. As they talked on, Hotch couldn't help but notice that they discussed almost everything except for the case that had occupied their every thought over the last few days. It was as if everyone had agreed not to bring up the earlier chase and its ultimate outcome. Prentiss was particularly and uncharacteristically quiet in the passenger seat next to his, so Hotch took a second to examine her demeanor, noticing in one quick look the way she was sitting with her back straight and tense against her seat, her face turned almost wistfully toward the window and her hands tucked carefully between her knees.

He frowned as he realized that she was in shock. But what was even more disturbing was that no one had seemed to notice, as no one had paid her any more attention than usual once they had initially made sure that she was safe.

Knowing her well enough to know that she would deny any ill feeling if he asked right then, Hotch bit his tongue and returned his attention to the road.

A few minutes later, Hotch maneuvered the SUV into a parking space and, noticing that Prentiss's movements were distracted and slightly sluggish, he took his own time turning the engine off and unbuckling his seat belt. Morgan and Lasalle paid them no mind as they chatted incessantly on their way out of the car and into the building, so Hotch circled the front of the SUV and stepped at Prentiss's side just as she was putting her feet on the ground. She looked up in surprise at his sudden appearance in front of her, as if she had been totally lost in thought.

"Prentiss, a word?"

She nodded, evidently a little confused, but stayed silent as she focused her gaze on him.

"Is everything okay?"

That seemed to shake her out of her quiet stupor, and she gave a vehement nod. "Yeah! Everything's fine, why do you ask?"

"What happened earlier…"

"Oh, no, I'm fine!"

Hotch knew where this was going, so decided to put a stop to her babbling before she even got a chance to start. "Prentiss. You're shaking. And you've been shaking for at least the last fifteen minutes."

She looked down at that, and Hotch noticed how her arms tightened around her waist, as if trying to protect or warm herself. "No, really, I'm okay, it's just the adrenaline, I'll be…"

"Come on, let's take a moment." She opened her mouth to protest but he beat her to it. "That's not negotiable. Come on, let's walk for a bit." As if to demonstrate that he was serious, he briefly rested a hand on her shoulder blade and stepped aside so that she could join him more fully onto the sidewalk.

Even at this late hour Chinatown was full of activity and Hotch took a moment to let the atmosphere of their surrounding and the warmth of the night soothe his tired soul. He wasn't a sentimental man, but after their last case, it was good to be able to feel alive again.

"So what's up?" Prentiss asked after a moment, breaking their silent companionship.

"You did good tonight."

He was only half-surprised when she snorted. He had known that the subject would touch a nerve, in fact he had counted on it. "Right, before or after I made myself totally vulnerable to a sadistic serial killer with a gun?"

Hotch shook his head. "You can't blame yourself for that. It could have happened to any of us."

He saw her shrug from the corner of his eye. "Not to _you_. You'd never have let your guard down. You never do."

Hotch stopped walking and frowned, sticking his hands into his pockets. "You make it sound like that's a good thing."

Prentiss stopped walking as well and turned to face him, her arms still folded around herself. She was still visibly shaking and the thought that what she really needed was the comfort and warmth of his arms almost unconsciously crossed the back of his mind, but he ignored the thought and firmly remained where he was.

"Isn't it?" She shot back with a raised eyebrow.

Hotch titled his head, considering it. "I don't know. There's a fine line between prudence and paranoia."

Prentiss almost smiled before she looked away and shrugged. "Well, in any case, I wish I had been more careful. If Rawson hadn't been there-"

"But he was."

She shook her head, and when she spoke again her voice was tight and low, as if she was fighting nausea. Or maybe she was just trying to prevent her teeth from chattering. "Even so, I have this feeling, that I can't seem to be able to shake off…"

Hotch stayed silent, but the impulse to take her into his arms came back unbidden, a little stronger than the last time, and it surprised him. And if he admitted it to himself, it also scared him a little. "What?" he asked, aware that his voice had lost its overbearing edge and sounded softer than usual.

She half-smiled, half-grimaced as she met his eyes again. "I didn't see my life flashing before my eyes, or a white light come down from the sky or any of that stuff, but in that split second when I realized the UNSUB was alive and aiming his gun at my head, I knew I was about to die."

Hotch knew the feeling, oh too well, but Prentiss didn't need for him to burden her with his own nightmares, so he merely nodded, gently encouraging her to go on. He tried not to notice how her eyes were tearing up and her entire face expressed her pain, and rather focused on the determination in her voice and the strength that she demonstrating by holding her head up even as she revealed herself to him.

"But then he didn't shoot and I didn't die. And I still can't shake the feeling- the fear, and the utter panic that I felt. Just for _one_ second." She let out a chuckle and swiped a hand across her cheek to wipe a tear that had escaped her control. "And now look at me, I'm having an adrenaline crash, I'm shaking uncontrollably, I can't think straight, I'm babbling, and worst… I'm dumping it all on you, of all people!"

Strangely, at that moment Hotch envied her emotional openness more than ever, because then he would be able to comfort her the way that she needed and deserved. She didn't need a cold and aloof boss tonight, she needed the comfort of a friend, and in that split second, when he saw her glistening eyes, his own inability to express empathy and care to a colleague tortured him like never before. He wanted to, but he simply _couldn't. _

So, once more repressing the impulse to take her in his arms, he shook his head and smiled softly to deflect her embarrassment. "Emily, don't worry about it." He turned serious once more, trying to at least convey _some_ of the understanding he was feeling. "I don't know-", he cleared his throat when the words wouldn't come out and started again. "What I mean to say, is that… What you're feeling… the fear, the panic, it'll pass. I promise."

Understanding suddenly flashed in her eyes and Hotch glanced away and over his shoulder. "Come on, we should probably head back."

She nodded and smiled. "We wouldn't want to miss celebratory booze, now would we?"

Hotch smiled and, with a brief and pressure-free hand on her back, guided her towards where they'd come. "Right."

The rest of the walk was done in silence, and once back at the HQ, Hotch saw Reid approach them with that expression that said he was dying to share some random piece of trivia.

"Guys, did you know that statistically alcohol is known to reduce essential tremor? I don't know about traumatic-induced trembling, but maybe you should have some Emily, it might help with your shaking."

Prentiss smiled and Hotch met her eyes briefly when she threw him a look.

So much for being the only one to notice.

The End

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

I know this was very short, but my fic-writing time is somewhat limited these days. But the idea just popped into my mind after watching the episode, and I just had to write and share it with you guys! Things should calm down in a few weeks though, so I'll probably take the opportunity to put to paper some of those few ideas that are still swirling around my head.

In the meantime, enjoy the rest of Season 5!

Amalgam


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